Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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