Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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