? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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