Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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