I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
