My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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