Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
