Fuck appropriateness.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
