I puked a lego.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
