her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
