is your mom at the bar?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
