your room smells of hookers.
And success
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
