We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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