i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
