remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
