I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
