Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
