Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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