Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just google imaged poop.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
