R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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