batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
