They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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