You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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