I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize