Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
