if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
