No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
