All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
