How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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