End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
