Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
