I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
