Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
