I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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