I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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