I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
