I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize