i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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