You're my little dorito
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
