Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
