i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
