I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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