Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
