you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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