One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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