So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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