I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
