I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
