halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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