Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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