She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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