Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
