Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
