I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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