My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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