oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
