Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize