I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
