And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
