This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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