How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
