what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Randomize